An Author's Frustration
by Dhampir
Summary: Yuki goes to a book signing and receives some...interesting questions. Complete!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation nor the characters.  
**Note:** This is for all authors--I'm certain you'll understand it!

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**An Author's Frustration**

Yuki took a seat at table. Another book signing, another day of rabid fan girls, and some fan boys, and ink stained finger tips. He sighed, looking over at the long line of girls and boys and then up at the clock to his right. Of course, the book signing was to advertise his newest novel: _Lover. _Five hours…five hours of torture as he signed and answered questions and dealt with shaking their hands, their kisses and of course, endless pleas of marriage, dates, sex and money. Like he needed any of those.

Looking back over at the line, he saw the first group approaching him…let the day start.

Two hours past without too much of a scene, the regular flirtatious girls came up along with those who continued to tell him, profusely, how talented he was and just how much they loved his work. He nodded, never cracking a smile, and signed what they wanted, asking the normal questions any author was asked to ask.

"Hello, who are you?"  
"Who would you like me to make this out to?"  
"Well thank you, I quite appreciate that."  
"I hope you enjoy my next novel."

Yet the day changed quite quickly as he was pressed with the oddest questions ever.

Yuki watched as the young girl, maybe fourteen, approached him, mouse brown hair fell down to the middle of her back and she held a book tight to her chest, smiling at him. She sighed as she reached him and said, "Hi! Who are you?"

Yuki cocked an eyebrow, "What?"

"Well, who are you?" She asked.

"…Yuki Eiri."

An hour past and another came, this time a middle aged woman, not quite attractive, but not bad either. She came up, put her book down and asked him to sign it to 'Miranda'. Once he signed it and handed it back to her, she asked, "When are you going to come out with your next novel?"

Yuki sighed, "I'm not certain as of yet."

"Well, can't you give me a time limit? Like, will it be in a couple weeks? A month? Tomorrow?"

The blonde haired author couldn't believe this. Did these people think that he just pulled stories out of his ass and handed them out? "It'll be published as soon as possible ma'am." He ground out, annoyance laced through his voice.

"What time do you go to bed usually?"

Yuki was seriously considering suicide or homicide, depending on who was closest and what was at hand. People were just asking the most annoying questions today. "Whenever I can."

"Well, in how long will you be going to bed today?"

"Hopefully soon."

"You mean you don't know? I go to bed around four or five in the morning usually."

"Whenever I'm tired."

"But that could be at any time."

"Precisely."

"What do you think of squirrels?"

"They're okay…"

"Ew, I hate squirrels! They're going to take over the world and eradicate humans from the earth."

"…"

"How can you like squirrels?"

"Can you read my story?"

Yuki looked up from the book he was signing at the boy holding out his story. "Why?" He asked.

"I wanted someone who could write to read it and tell me what they think."

"…Right."

"Will you?"

Yuki sighed, "I'm a professional novelist, I don't have time to read amateur writing."

"Please?" He asked, almost whining like Shuichi. "Please Yuki-sama?"

"Thanks for signing my book! I really, really, really enjoyed it, thanks so much for writing it!" The girl said happily before asking, "Oh, did you write _Lover_?"

"Why are you always so cold? Why don't you ever smile?"

Gripping the pen tightly, Yuki focused his cold gaze on the young teenager before him. "Because I am and I don't."

"But why? It's weird…"

"Because I have to deal with annoying people like you all day!" He growled, almost snapping the pen in half.

"Do you like chicken or turkey more?"

"…" Yuki just stared at the man before him.

"Well?"

"I don't know." He finally said.

"Come on! Say one, you have to know!"

"Chicken."

The man's face faltered, "What? Why? My sister loves chicken, but turkey's so much better! You should hate chicken!"

"…"

"Can you please write a sequel to your story?"

"I never considered it."

"Well, do you remember the person who sent you that letter to ask you to write a sequel? That was me."

"Ah."

"So can you? You really should."

"Maybe."

"Really? Great! When will it be out? Next week?"

The day finally ended and Yuki stood up, staring at the pen still in his hands, cracked and slightly bent from the pressure he had been applying to it all day. First thing tomorrow, he was calling his editor up and telling her he was never doing a book signing every again for the rest of his life. For now, he was just going to find someone to kill…

* * *

And the creepy part--All these questions are REAL. None made up, people have asked me this stuff... People have IM'd me and talk and halfway through go "Oh, you wrote 'blah blah'?" And yes, the chicken question was real. The one about being cold was someone asked me why on IM do I always say "Hehe" or "Aww" ...I had no answer. 

Anyway, I really don't mind it, but I just thought some of these questions were too good not to make into a story. So! There you go!

Dhampir


End file.
